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Friday Link Love

Today I want to share the blogs that I have found most helpful in getting into blogging, writing for blogs, being positive, changing lifestyles, and things to consider when stepping out into the void of non-conformity.

Over the last decade that I’ve been doing business online a multitude of trends have come and many have gone but those who remain and have build valuable enterprises are those who understand that they’re in the business of being useful.

~ Darren Rowse  http://www.problogger.net


It takes guts to say, “I read this and you should too.” The guts to care enough about our culture (and your friends) to move it forward and to stand for something.

~ Seth Godin  http://www.sethgodin.com


Nobody is perfect and nobody gets everything they want all at once. Have patience. In time you’ll get what you need. Just focus on loving and accepting yourself TODAY (perfectly imperfect). Forget what other people think or say or expect of you, they have a lot to work on as well.

As a matter of fact feel sorry for them, the harder they are on you, multiply that by 100x and that’s how they treat themselves! Ouch. That sucks

~ http://1000lifelessons.com


In Praise of Limits

We live in a world of abundance, often to the point of excess: we can buy anything anytime, consume as much of the Internet as we want, eat anything all the time, work as much as our bodies will allow.

With so much available, it can become overwhelming, unhealthy, unbalanced.

~ http://zenhabits.net

Are there blogs or people out there who have made a difference in your life? I’d love to hear about them.

If you like this post, hit the like button, or share this post with your friends… you can always buy me a coffee with the donate button at the right – coffee keeps me writing, it’s my go juice!

Have a positive and productive day!

 
 

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The News is Killing You

I had a reply on a forum I belong to today. The poster stated that she believed that most people are, “self-aggrandizing, greedy pompous twits”. Sometimes I agree with that… and it frustrates me to no end how stupid people can be sometimes, and yes, selfish and greedy. But that too is a matter of perspective. There are very many people who are not like that. There are a lot of people who are doing a ton of good in the world… there are bright and giving and innovative people… lots of them.

I didn’t know that for the longest time, and I despaired.

I can only relate my own experience but a few years back I read something on positive thinking (ya ya I know.. a lot of it is woo – but stick with me) because of depression… and it suggested something interesting. It suggested that one stop consuming ‘news’, especially television but also newspapers, and engaging in gossip (commiseration in particular). It said that people need reasons to bond and one of the easiest ways is to bond in shared misery, as well bonding in joint criticism. It stated that these were the basis of most media news these days but that it was a false way to bond, and build community in the long run. I thought about it, a lot.

It was a challenge to stop watching TV altogether. (And radio news and newspapers as well)

I did… for over a year.

Then it suggested seeking out the good reports, finding the news that is about the good people do, people to look up to – role models if you will. So I did (the internet makes it much easier than before) and what I found startled me. No, not Mother Teresa… but hundreds of stories of regular people doing awesome shit. Teenagers, kids, stay-at-home moms, entrepreneurs, seniors… sometimes little things like grass-roots fund-raising to build a community center in the arctic, or teenagers starting a gay/straight alliance club at their high school, or people cleaning up a neighborhood, or visiting seniors and the handicapped, or cat rescue. Sometimes bigger things like KIVA -small loans made to small business owners all over the world, or political lobbying, or stopping some big corporation from ruining another wetland, or creating a community garden, creating a co-operative, or taking family volunteer vacations to help dig a well in Africa… or even writing blogs that inform us normal average folks about issues and stirring up activism. The creativity and philanthropy I actually found was staggering – much more than any large organization does. I think many more people would contribute this way if the truth were known. It is not uncommon and people have tons of power to make changes, and there are people doing it. There are lots of them.

I came to the conclusion that most of the news we get is woefully unbalanced and biased. It’s NOT THE TRUTH, about people or events, at all. It’s easy to see the world as cold and selfish and greedy when 99% of the reports we get are about the bad guys, and the disasters, and ‘doom and gloom’ forecasts, and the greedy and the fear-mongers propaganda. It disenfranchises people and makes us all feel helpless and powerless – it creates a dependent victim mentality, it separates and divides, and it is BULLSHIT.

It’s all bullshit, on every level; local, national and global.

But like anything worthwhile – finding the good stuff takes effort. Choosing to pick up the damn spoon and feed ourselves, instead of passively accepting what is given us takes effort.

I still avoid the news… to a point. I still watch very little TV, and I never listen to radio news. And guess what? I’m no longer depressed… and I have much more hope for the world than I did before (and way less anxiety and contempt for mankind) and to this day I actively seek out the good stuff – because it’s real and it’s big, and that’s the world I want to be a part of.

These are some good things I follow:

http://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/

http://www.globalgoodnews.com/  (I don’t follow the Maharishi – but the links to good stories in inspiring)

http://positivenews.org.uk/

http://www.good.is/people-are-awesome

http://www.kiva.org/

http://listverse.com/2011/01/27/10-great-philanthropists-who-are-kids/

What do you do to find out what people are really doing? How do you stay positive in the avalanche of negativity that is our modern media?

Do you believe people are intrinsically good?

 
2 Comments

Posted by on December 30, 2012 in awesome, Fear, giving, good news, Happiness, positive, stupid

 

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I Got Nothing

Do you ever have days when you wake up miserable and it doesn’t go away?

I’m having one of those days.

Yuck

Negativity is taking up all the space in my head, my friends, rent free. I didn’t invite it – it just came and plopped itself on my couch, getting bigger and bigger… and smirking at me.

It affects my environment too though I’m not sure how that works. Something is wrong with my phone. I didn’t get the mail I was waiting for. My email doesn’t seem to working well either. I tried to write this morning… nothin’. I got nothing.

But I’m tryin’… oh yes. I went for a walk, I ate something nutritious, even had an extra cup of coffee. Those things are keeping me from just crawling back into bed and writing this day off.

I’m not sure what I’m going to try next… maybe I’ll get dressed up. Sometimes when I feel like crap – getting all super clean and dolled-up helps. Maybe I’ll find something that’s silly and playful. Maybe I need to have a chat with my monsters and find out why I woke up like this. I may have to journal, or draw, or dance. Or just clean something, anything.

Today, one little thing isn’t enough… I may have to bring out the whole arsenal.

It’s one of those days when I need to pull out every little bit of advice on positivity, and every trick in the book. Beating myself up because I’m not Miss Positive every minute of every day isn’t going to help. Believing the negative thoughts won’t either.

It’s just one day.

I may need crayons.

 
2 Comments

Posted by on April 16, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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Misery Loves Company

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I never noticed it before.

The way a lot of people get satisfaction out of moaning and groaning… about pretty much anything, but especially about their financial situation or how terrible business is, or how hard life is, or how crappy their job or boss is. Now we all have hard times and some things that happen are terrible but that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about a social phenomenon, a common one.

I noticed it today.

I wasn’t eavesdropping, honest. I was sitting in my favorite coffee shop doing my thing when a conversation behind me crept into my awareness. There was the usual small talk, greeting, how ya doing stuff and then it just naturally digressed to how slow business is, how high taxes are, the horrid clients and how nobody wants to pay for anything anymore, how expensive everything is, how impossible it is to make any money in this economy, how there’s no competing with products that are made in another (3rd world) country, blah, blah, blah… not once did I hear either of them offer a solution to any of the problems.

The thing that caught my attention though was the subtle excitement that went along with this conversation. There was a quality of weird joy that went with this shared commiseration.

It creeped me out.

I asked myself if I had experienced this before and I have to admit, yes, I have heard it before, many times, in many contexts. Admittedly, I’ve done it myself. (hangs head in shame)

It’s unbelievably negative. It’s depressing. What’s the reward in it? It was obvious that they were getting something pleasurable out of it. There was a sort of peer approval in it. What is it that gives people pleasure in focusing on the negative? What social payoff is there in it? What affect does this mutual misery have on success, or failure?

It sounded to me that accepting defeat was supported, even encouraged. Is there some sort of subtle social pressure to fail, to remain where we are, to not succeed? Do we make other feel safe by not succeeding? Do we make others feel safe by commiserating with them? Are we less threatening? Do we get brownie points?

Whatever the sociological reason for it I can’t see it as anything but destructive.

Any success guru or system emphasizes the power of positive thinking, of seeking the opportunity present in adversity, of becoming a problem solver yet what I see around me at times is the exact opposite. It’s the belief that problems are overwhelming and insurmountable and then that belief is shared and amplified by this strange sort of mutual complaining and grumbling. Try offering a solution and the reaction is almost hostile.

I’ve seen it in my business. I do graphics and marketing, but my best skills will never overcome this mindset. Clients read somewhere that branding, or advertising or a marketing plan will make their business successful… and it can if they are willing to change their attitude along with the needs of their business. But if they believe, deep down, that it’s impossible, or that their lack of success is entirely caused by events outside of themselves nothing I do for them is going to be effective for their business, not for long.

There’s a lot of self sabotage out there. And… it’s supported by others. It’s almost ritualistic.

However… I believe we can learn from anything, even the negative stuff, and if we really want to succeed then this behavior is a lesson in how not to be. Becoming aware of the subtle ways in which we support one another or not is important.

Allowing ourselves to commiserate with others over the dreadful state of affairs and how it’s impossible for us to succeed, to believe and promote that circumstances are insurmountable, or allowing someone else to try to pull us into that kind of thinking is something to be avoided, at all costs.

It won’t get us anywhere but having more of these conversations.

 
2 Comments

Posted by on April 9, 2012 in Success

 

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