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Category Archives: Personal Growth

Humour Helps Procrastination

PM Scare 2

From: waitbutwhy.com

So I have been doing some surfing research on procrastination, but really what I’ve been doing is procrastinating about writing another blog post on procrastination.

Sad.

It’s so easy to beat ourselves up about not doing the things we know we should, and even the things we want to do… because beating ourselves up is actually another form of procrastination. Procrastination becomes a habit and the mind can find all sorts of creative ways to not make something happen and justify it as well.

The mind is a tricky thing, isn’t it?

Being a procrastinator is ultimately very tiring though. It’s depressing and this leads to finding even more ways to procrastinate, because then I try to find things to entertain myself with to avoid the guilt of my procrastination and lack of productivity. Knowing in the back of my mind that my dreams are not coming true because I am a world-class procrastinator sucks. So I’ll find myself surfing the web watching cat videos, sitting in front of the TV while some useless show is on, or rereading a novel for the fourth time. It takes my mind off the procrastination.

“Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn’t the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment.”

~Robert Benchley

Avoiding guilt isn’t going to help. So I thought about other obstacles I have faced and how I’ve dealt with them. ADD is one of my biggest challenges. Having all channels in my head on at once, all the time and not being able to focus on just one has caused me some grief. It’s affected most areas of my life and I’ve struggled with depression because of it. When I first began to try to deal with it I found that laughing at some of the foibles of being ADD was very helpful. I constantly lose my keys… like EVERY SINGLE DAY, sometimes several times a day… I used to think to myself, “how can you be so stupid?” I don’t talk to myself like that anymore…it’s not helpful. It’s stressful and when I’m stressed it’s much harder to focus.

Being able to laugh at oneself is a very useful key in approaching any problem that lowers ones self-esteem. I’ve used it with my ADD, because having ADD isn’t something that’s going to go away and when I scourge myself for the symptoms which often can really mess things up for me, it just makes it worse.

But laughing at myself when I do something ‘ADD’ helps a lot. Then I’m able to take it in stride and move on, without the energy sucking feelings that I’m too messed up, or not as smart as others, or whatever crap runs through my head.

Tim Urban over at Wait But Why has captured the mind of the procrastinator in a hilarious but accurate way. Of all the articles I’ve read on it so far his resonates with me the most. He uses humour to describe it and to tackle it. I was crying laughing out loud and agreeing with his take on this insidious problem.

Tim’s is a playful yet insightful look at what happens inside the mind of the procrastinator and he also has some great ideas on how to change it. Go check it out…

http://waitbutwhy.com/2013/10/why-procrastinators-procrastinate.html

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Friday Link Love

Today I want to share the blogs that I have found most helpful in getting into blogging, writing for blogs, being positive, changing lifestyles, and things to consider when stepping out into the void of non-conformity.

Over the last decade that I’ve been doing business online a multitude of trends have come and many have gone but those who remain and have build valuable enterprises are those who understand that they’re in the business of being useful.

~ Darren Rowse  http://www.problogger.net


It takes guts to say, “I read this and you should too.” The guts to care enough about our culture (and your friends) to move it forward and to stand for something.

~ Seth Godin  http://www.sethgodin.com


Nobody is perfect and nobody gets everything they want all at once. Have patience. In time you’ll get what you need. Just focus on loving and accepting yourself TODAY (perfectly imperfect). Forget what other people think or say or expect of you, they have a lot to work on as well.

As a matter of fact feel sorry for them, the harder they are on you, multiply that by 100x and that’s how they treat themselves! Ouch. That sucks

~ http://1000lifelessons.com


In Praise of Limits

We live in a world of abundance, often to the point of excess: we can buy anything anytime, consume as much of the Internet as we want, eat anything all the time, work as much as our bodies will allow.

With so much available, it can become overwhelming, unhealthy, unbalanced.

~ http://zenhabits.net

Are there blogs or people out there who have made a difference in your life? I’d love to hear about them.

If you like this post, hit the like button, or share this post with your friends… you can always buy me a coffee with the donate button at the right – coffee keeps me writing, it’s my go juice!

Have a positive and productive day!

 
 

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The (almost) Effortless Way to Increase Your Happiness

Print out one inspirational message or quote a week and place where you can see it, read daily.

When you do something for a good friend or family member, whether that’s listening, empathizing, or helping them out, STOP! Ask yourself, “Do I do this for myself?” If you don’t, START. Be your own best friend.

Self-esteem and confidence doesn’t come from other people, words or even positive thinking, it comes from trying new things, from mastery and stretching ourselves. Try something new at least once a month, especially if it scares you, makes you uncomfortable or you find yourself making excuses why you can’t.

Pay attention to how people make you feel. Take a moment and really feel what it’s like to be around someone. Spend more time with people who energize you and less with those who don’t.

Write a short gratitude list once a week. Appreciate what you do have in your life.

Write a list of the qualities you have that you like. Add to it as they come to you. Never censor things you are proud of.

Stop watching the news. Most news is negative and sensational. It gives a skewed view of the world, increasing depression and feelings of powerlessness. If you must follow some news take it in a format you can easily pick and choose from, like a newspaper or online news source. Balance out negative reports with positive ones. There are a lot of good things happening all over the world but regular news doesn’t cover them. Seek them out.

Adopt a cause. Commit to doing something that helps others. Whether that is an hour at the local food bank, writing a letter to the editor on a social issue or donating the stuff you don’t need—do something regularly.

Spend some time with nature. Really pay attention to the green growing things or the local wildlife. Get outside at least once a week, or start a garden!

The very best way to help others is to take good care of yourself. Give yourself permission to take care of you and you will have much more to give to your loved ones and the world.

 
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Posted by on October 15, 2012 in Happiness, Personal Growth, Success

 

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Personal Agendas

It’s important to stay positive. I think that is one of the key ingredients to creating a great life. It is also important to stay true to yourself and be clear about your inner motivations and intentions.

Agenda’s are those underlying concepts and desires that structure how we operate in the world. They are our special interests – those things we feel passionate about and want to promote. They are the things that are at the bottom of our personal goals.

Most of us who are dedicated to personal growth have some sense of our place in the world, of being part of a community, whether that is global, our countries, our towns, our neighborhood or even our own small circle. We are part of a system, many systems in fact, and although we are ultimately only responsible for ourselves it would be foolish not to see that we have an impact and that we influence our communities too.

Whether we do this positively, or negatively depends on our ability to be clear about our own personal agendas. Agendas are born, nurtured and sustained by our beliefs about our world and our place in it. Agendas are directly related to our self-esteem and what we want to accomplish.

We all have agendas.

Agendas can be positive, negative… and in rare cases, neutral. Agendas can come from ambitions, and from a sense of service and connection. Agendas can help us focus on our direction and stay on track with our values. Agendas from a place of love and service influence others in positive ways, especially if we are flexible and willing to adjust our agendas to work with others.

Agendas can also come from ego. When they come from ego it’s directly related to fear… usually a fear of losing something, whether that is fear of losing what you need to survive, losing love, losing status, or losing control of something. Agendas from fear are filled with deception, manipulation and only serve the self. These kind of agendas don’t consider the impact they have on others and can bulldoze others in their need to dominate.

Personal development, at its core, is about awareness. It’s about aligning with our highest selves. It’s about assessing who we are and then discarding what we don’t like and acquiring or uncovering what we do like. Our intentions and our passions are the road markers on this path. With awareness our world gets larger and we can see a little further than before. We can see that we affect the people around us, we affect our communities and the world too.

Do we want this impact to be positive, or negative?

Being clear about what motivates us is the key to this process. Knowing what our agendas are makes it possible for us to consciously develop them so that they serve us, and others in positive ways. It prevents us from acting from a position of fear. Being honest about our own personal agendas is the way to bring them in conscious awareness and ensure they align with our values and ethics.

Personal agendas are a fact of life. Like any of our personality traits—quick to anger/slow to start, need to lead/prefer to follow—they have both positive and negative qualities. The key is to acknowledge them openly and work with them. Only then can we move in a shared direction, applying our ideas and passions for the greater good of all.

Everyone has an agenda. Are you aware of yours?

 
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Posted by on April 24, 2012 in Fear, Goals, Passion, Personal Growth

 

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A Powerful Tool for Personal Growth

One of the biggest problems in life I have had is getting clear on what I want to do. I have a lot of interests and it’s easy to get distracted and spread myself too thin.

Another reason is I don’t have an accurate view of myself. By that I mean I know how I feel and what I think, and what my intentions and values are, but until recently I didn’t know how I came across to others. I assumed that how I felt, and what I meant, was what others saw.

Wrong

After some startling unsolicited feedback from a couple of friends I began to look at this. I decided to ask people to tell me honestly how they saw me. It was incredibly scary to do, but I knew I needed to get a wider view. I knew that I needed perspective, and looking from the inside out wasn’t giving me that.

At all

I was truly amazed at the answers I received, even shocked. In some areas the way I was seen by others was a complete surprise to me. One example, I heard from several people when I asked them how they saw me that they thought I was a ‘leader’… what? That is a word I had never considered as a quality I had… It made me reconsider some old beliefs I had about myself, about my abilities, and the influence I have on others.

This new information has given me permission to see myself in a way I never allowed myself to before and to look into new avenues to expand my awareness, my world is now a bigger and more exciting place.

Getting feedback has opened up a whole new area of life experience for me. It has given me more confidence and is opening up opportunities to explore new directions in life. It has caused me to reassess my goals and path in life because I can now work on developing talents and abilities I never even suspected I had…

There have been definite WOW moments in this process.

In other ways it made me very uncomfortable because sometimes how I was coming across wasn’t matching my intentions. I’m a communicator and to communicate effectively I believe congruence is important.  So it has helped to identify other areas I need to work on.

It isn’t the easiest thing to do, especially at first. Truthfully, it’s one of the scariest things I have ever done. There is always the risk of hearing things that hurt. Our egos, our self-image, are pretty sensitive and I did get some information that was… well… ouch. It is also one of the most valuable things I have ever done. Being committed to personal, conscious growth means being open to constructive criticism and seeing ourselves as we are, not how we want to.

It is important to choose the right people to ask for feedback. Just going around asking random people what they think of you is not the safest idea. Safety is important, but it has to be balanced by choosing those who won’t sugar-coat things either.

I chose those people I respected but that weren’t so close that the answers would be influenced by being too emotionally involved. I chose people that had nothing to gain by flattering me. I chose people I had never heard gossip or tear others down to make themselves look better. I chose people who were committed to their own personal growth and development.

I respected their answers by not defending myself or explaining my behavior. I just soaked it all in, asked for clarity if the answers were puzzling or too vague, and said, thank you. Then I would journal about it at home, exploring how the information affected me, what emotional reaction I had to it, and what I wanted to do about it. I balanced it out with the work I am doing on self-trust and being true to myself.

This is a very powerful tool. It’s something I have incorporated into my personal growth plan and try to do on a regular basis. It does take a certain amount of courage, but it is invaluable way to expand ones consciousness. It is more than worth the discomfort that comes at first, and I promise it does get easier with practice.

If you really want to open a new door to personal growth, pick a few people you respect and ask them how they see you, or what qualities they admire about you. Tell them you are looking for honest feedback as a self-improvement project… positive people will be glad to help you and the results will seriously blow you away.

Have you had any feedback from others that has changed the way you see yourself? Do you think this is something that could help you on your path?

 
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Posted by on April 22, 2012 in Personal Growth

 

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